I’ll preface this from the outset and let you all know that this is NOT an anti-woman, or bashing women article. This is solely an article to further the ideals of true manhood in America. Something that I feel has been hugely diminished over the last 8 years.
Finally a man’s man is coming to the White House. Enough with the pandering, and putting feelings first. Enough with the constant demonization of men being men. Hipsters and Metro-sexuals beware, your time is up. Enough of you morons taking my manly beard and turning it into some city boy fashion statement. Enough of the beta males in this country trying to be their kid’s friend, instead of the father they need! Far too many households in this nation have a “man” living there who can’t even properly identify tools, much less actually use them to build or fix something. This country doesn’t need you weak minded, soft skinned, emotionally adolescent, overgrown men children anymore. This country needs men. Real men. Men that can tighten up some boot straps, roll their sleeves up, and get on with the work of manhood.
One of my favorite writers, speakers, and podcasters, Ben Shapiro often says “Facts don’t care about your feelings.” and its high time that the men of this nation understand and embrace this simple truth of life. We are men, we think logically, we use reason, facts, and truth. We don’t use our emotions, we are not little cry babies (except at the end of Old Yeller of course), and we damn sure don’t let our children talk back or disrespect us or our wives.
Men your place is to be the leader of your home, in nearly every single way. But most importantly, you set the moral tone by which your children will learn how to be adults. Your sons will learn how to be a man from you. Your daughters will learn what qualities they need to seek out in a potential husband. You are your sons’ hero, and your daughters’ first love. You’re not better or more important than your wife, but you are just a vital to the raising of your children.
Just as your wife has a bond with your sons that you’ll never understand, you need to remember that she will never understand why you’re so close with your daughters. My wife and I have 4 children. the oldest two are girls, and the youngest two are boys. They are all our babies, and we love them very very much. But I don’t like them half as much as my wife does. A woman sees each child as a miracle and gift from God. Not to be too generalistic, but men usually see children as small and unemployed. In our Netflix streaming account, I’m listed as Generous Account Holder, and the kids account is Little Leaches, because they are basically midget sized moochers that I can’t kick out. (yes I said midget, get over it.)
But seriously, I am the leader of my home. Most importantly I am the spiritual leader. My children know God, and know Jesus. Together we work very hard and ensuring they have a strong moral compass. They don’t learn that at school, with their friends, and it surely can’t be done through legislation. It comes from the home. Regardless of your faith, or lack thereof, your children are learning and developing a moral compass from you. Everything you do, and say are used to form the boundaries of good/bad that they see the world with.
That is a huge and scary reality that I came to understand as I learned more about my role as a father and leader of my family through my walk with God. The realization that God gave me (and my wife) these 4 tiny humans, and their minds are almost completely blank, waiting to be filled with all the good and bad that they see and experience from day one, oh and that about 90% of all the morals they will ever know will come from the two of us, is about the scariest thing you could possibly tell me.
Another reason it’s time the men are men again in our nation is because women don’t want a touchy feely man who’s soft and in touch with his emotions. They want a man, we are supposed to be rough, stubborn, strong like the trunk of an Oak tree, problem solvers, protectors, leaders, and providers. Women want a man that exudes these traits. Regardless of his faults, which he will have many of, she needs those things met to know that she, and her children will be taken care of, will be safe, and won’t go hungry.
So with all that being said, here’s what I feel are the most important tenants of manhood. The things that truly make a man, a man. Note: Some of these things I know to be true, and yet I still struggle to live them out daily, I fall short. I let pride or selfishness get in the way and I ignore what I know to be true, because I want to be right. But I never stop trying to be better. Ok, so here goes:
- A man is the provider for his family. It is his responsibility to provide all the needs of those who are depending upon him. This doesn’t mean a woman shouldn’t or can’t work. My wife works and runs a home based business on top of being a wife and mother. What I mean is that a woman should never HAVE to work in order for the kids to eat, or the electricity to work. My wife doesn’t have to work, I make enough money to meet our financial needs. Her income is used for extra things like more farm animals and spoiling me. (and the kids too)
- As the spiritual leader of your home, it is incumbent upon you as the husband and father in your home to ensure your kids have the right moral foundation to be good and productive members of society. I personally feel that without God there is no morality, because without the Almighty Father there is nothing to back up the need for living a moral life. So you should know more about the bible than the rest of your family combined. You should be ready to answer questions, and lead discussions about God and religion in your home.
- While we are the leaders of our family, as the Bible describes we, are the head of the family as Christ is the head of the Church. We are called to “love our wife just as Christ loves the Church, and gave His life for Her.” – Ephesians 5:25
Which means that we lead by serving, by putting her first. Just as Christ washed the feet of others even though he was the guest, we are to put the needs of our wife and family before the wants of our own. (I really struggle with this one. I love being right, and as an only child I always want to get my way, this is a constant battle for me.)
- As the head of the family we are to protect our family and our land. This means protecting them from unseen dangers, as well as the clearly visible ones. To teach our kids not to run into the street after a toy, or like at my farm, to teach our kids how to walk around large animals like horses and cows so they don’t get kicked or ran over. It means protecting your baby from crawling off the end of the bed. It means ensuring that you’re the one the one performing the hard or heavy work in and out of the house, not letting your wife hunt down and fix that electrical problem. We are called to be the fire starter, the handyman, the mechanic, and the human forklift all in one (this includes reaching the top shelf and opening jars for her.)
- Fathers are meant to be the disciplinarian of the family. We are the strength and force that helps to ensure the children don’t disrespect your wife when told to do something. Fathers are always tougher, especially on the sons. Most of the problems with today’s youth stems from no father being in the home. This is especially true in the inner city where the single motherhood rate is over 70%. Lets face it, there aren’t many 15 year old testosterone filled boys who are afraid of their mother. I dare one of my kids to disrespect their Momma. That is my wife, my queen, and as Christians we are two halves of one whole. I will come down on them like Zeus from Mt Olympus. It is our jobs to be tough on our kids, to demand respect, and prepare our children for the harsh world they will enter in 18 short years. Earlier I pointed out Ben’s quote that “Facts don’t care about your feelings.” And this will become painfully obvious to every young adult with their first job. These new aged politically correct parents are raising children woefully unprepared for the harsh realities of adult life in America. And those kids who do go on to college are only further hindered by the environment of the safe-space, trigger warning, and micro-aggression culture existing throughout much of Academia in the US. So we have a generation of mentally weak, emotionally unstable, soft character young adults entering the work force having never faced a real challenge, or consequences of laziness and bad choices. I hear horror stories all the time about the kind of youth the colleges are pumping out. Honestly I’m not at all surprised at the unemployment rate for those under 30. Between the useless degrees, and the ineptness of the vast majority of those aged 18-30 I’m actually surprised it’s not higher. Guess what kids, your boss doesn’t give a damn that your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you and you’re “in a bad place” or “feeling vulnerable.” You better get your ass to work, he ain’t paying you to feel. The world doesn’t give a damn about how you feel, or what you think. No one outside your family and closest friends will ever give a shit about you as a person. And I’ve got some news for you, they don’t like you that much either. (This one ran a bit long, sorry.)
- As fathers and husbands we have to be dependable. Dependable like those old Chevy Truck commercials “Like A Rock.” I was raised that a man’s word is his bond. That a handshake was as iron clad as the 10 commandments. When you say you’re going to do something, or be somewhere you gotta come through, this fits equally for your wife and your kids. Now for the wives reading this, you need to understand one simple fact about men. If we aren’t looking you right in the eyes, we ARE NOT listening to you. Women have this amazing ability to deal with multiple things at once, you know multitask. Well your biggest mistake with your husband is assuming that he can do it too. We can’t. No really, we can’t do it. If I’m looking at my computer screen and my wife is talking to me, she’s going to get “mhm,” “uh huh,” and other such noises to keep talking, but I haven’t heard a word she’s said. She’s finally learned that she needs to get me to stop whatever I’m doing and look her in the face when giving me vital information. If this is an issue for you, I highly recommend you seek Mark Gungor’s A Tale of Two Brains on YouTube, then order his DVD’s this man is AMAZING!
Ok back to the manhood part. Men, you HAVE to do what you say you’re going to do, you HAVE to be somewhere when you say you will. Especially things like kids recitals, games, and school events where they get a certificate. (I know it might seem like some mediocre accomplishment, but to that 8 year old, they just won the Nobel Peace Prize.) I’m still working on this one. I’m still learning how to celebrate the small achievements that mean the world to my kids, and they just want daddy to be proud of them. I’m slowly getting better at this one.
So that’s the most important areas that I see for manhood, both from biblical standpoint and just how I was raised to be a man, which wasn’t in the church. I truly found Jesus and began my walk with Him much more recently. I learned most of what I know about manhood and being a leader and guider from my Grandpa. He was, is, and always will be my hero. I hope that my kids look at me the same way as they grow and find their way in this world. He wasn’t a church going man, but everything he taught me has proven to be completely true as I learn even more about manhood from the Bible and the teachings of Jesus. Now, my Grandpa didn’t teach me everything, and I surely haven’t learned everything, much less applied them in my daily life, but I’m even more proud of and hold even tighter to all the lessons from my Grandpa from when I grew up, because they have all proven to not only be true to today’s world, they are right standing with Jesus and the lessons he left for all of us. I strive daily to be half the man my Grandpa was. If I can get to that level of manhood, I’ll have left a lasting legacy that my kids, grand kids, and great grand kids will hopefully carry on long after God calls me home.
-The Mid `Merican